memories

Do you remember that day at *&%$#@?
Of course I do how can I forget. That was the first time I had cried to you, like a child.
While I wept like a baby, your embrace comforted me; I could cry harder knowing you will hold me as long as it took to make me stop. I knew on that day you cared about my tears too. While all along I was scared to cry to you, to wail to you, to be a child in front of you. You made me feel like I was better than that, like I shouldn’t be weak and shouldn’t shed one tear. But, that day was different. You made me so comfortable in your embrace that I craved for it ever since. And I did that again, on the day we spent the night together before you left town. I did, I was brave enough to let those tears fall. You have instilled that fear in me, of not ever crying to you. I can’t do it. But there are moments when you let me, and I love those moments when you do. The way you look at me, stroking my back, my hair, holding me and hoping I would stop crying. I will never forget that day, all those days when you knew I was upset, with that comforting look in your eyes, with that smile on your face almost telling me that it will be okay. Everything will be okay.

Its different now isn’t it…all different…

-26th December 2008

william ernest henley

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

william shakespeare

Those lips that love's own hand did make

Breathed forth the sound that said "I hate,"

To me that languished for her sake.

But when she saw my woeful state,

Straight in her heart did mercy come,

Chiding that tongue that ever sweet

Was used in giving gentle doom,

And taught it thus anew to greet.

"I hate" she altered with an end

That followed it as gentle day

Doth follow night, who, like a fiend,

From heaven to hell is flown away.

"I hate" from hate away she threw.

And saved my life, saying "not you."

verse

the feeling is back again,
i can feel it in my stomach.
its getting harder to remember,
harder even to forget.
it rains heavy,
feels like my soul is on fire.
winding roads,
confusing dreams.
memories flood my thoughts,
and kiss my palm.
the sky closes in to watch me crumble,
the wind hurts and calms.
when november comes i'll die again,
when my love goes in vain.
a thousand deaths i will die,
and come back to you for comfort.
~26-08-08

memories and the love

it keeps coming back,
the smells, the sounds,
the songs, the streets,
the kisses, the smiles.
i miss those longing eyes staring back at me,
those comforted eyes kissing my soul,
those smiles assuring the love,
those moments that we were inseparable.
i want it back,
not once but a hundred times,
i don't want it back,
not once but a thousand times.

"Crazy skies all wild above me now
Winter howling at my face
And everything I held so dear
Disappeared without a trace
Oh all the times Ive tasted love
Never knew quite what I had
Little darling if you hear me now
Never needed you so bad
Spinning round inside my head"~sail away, david gray

it was wonderful,
memorable,
and it was true,
but its gone now, all gone.

its like we died,
nothing to say,
just lonely tears,
you need to resurrect me...someday..somehow..


"This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on"~this years love, david gray

i love you and then some

we all love, i love him, i love her, he loves me and so does she.
we love and we hurt, we hurt when its gone..and when we know it will go someday.
"you're too in love to let it go"

she says i am killing her.

i say i am dying already.

he says the same too. we connect, we are alike.

love cannot be ignored at all. it is there, it just is.

i need closure for the other him, in another land, another continent.
he doesn't care, i am just a memory...maybe. i can't even be sure.

he dwells, marinates in my memory....i wish he would feel the same too.

"i love you...a lot"

all of you.....

friends, lovers, strangers, dreamers...i love you all..

i wish this could be forever..you, me and then some...

Verse

Here

he smiles, she holds my hand,
we walk through the door,
her hand holding mine,
his smile still warm in my memory.
i can't breathe,
time seems to stop,
nothing seems to move,
she is still here, he is still smiling.
stop this, this maddening speed,
so slow, yet so tiring,
so slow, yet so wounding,
i can't speak, i've lost my soul.
silence screams all around,
and she hasn't let go,
she's strong for me,
he's strong for me.
i am strong for me,
but i don't want to be anymore,
i am fading, dying, cell by cell,
but..she is still here, he is still smiling.

26th June 08, 12:21am

Here and There

"Thoughts that compose,
Here and There,
I type it here."

We all think,
And I want to type those thoughts here; for you to see and feel.

Hope you enjoy reading my blog, keep an eye out, we might connect on a level that you thought didn't exist.

Welcome...